That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
