Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
