She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
