Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
