he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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