I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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