Buhtt sex?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't turn off my feet"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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