I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
