You're my little dorito
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize