dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
