shes about as inviting as chlamydia
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize