And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
