After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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