For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
