I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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