It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
