I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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