that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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