so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
