Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
