I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
