Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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