I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
