why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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