I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize