I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
