Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
