Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
