i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
did i just pee glitter
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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