Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Randomize
