My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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