i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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