So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
