She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
