it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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