Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize