the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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