I could have mohawked her pubes.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize