why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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