brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
