1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
