How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
