My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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