just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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