I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
