TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
