I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is Oprah even human
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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