you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
