Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
