Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
