well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
