Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I stole a fireplace last night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
