There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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