I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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