i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
