Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
