I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
