mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
