She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
