yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
