All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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