yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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