loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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