Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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