Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize