found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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