Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
