I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
